why so addictive? Written back in 2010, how my views have changed

Why is Pornography addictive in the first place. I wanted to just check my email and go to sleep but then I have very little mettle when it comes to resisting temptation: As Oscar Wilde said, I can resist everything but temptation. I wanted to expatiate about the lack of valorisation of our indigenious languages in Namibia, but then I ended up logging onto xtube. First I logged onto the the Proverbs, Bible on line reading them. What did I do next? Opened another window for XTUBE and watched a guy jerk himself off, reclining, where I only see his body, chest, torso and thighs, with his chin and mouth being the only visible part of his head. White guy. What is is hiding from, why not show himself entirely? Is it that he is ashamed or is that he prefers we not recognize him.

I wish I could say that X-tube is not for profit site and none of the "models" are being exploited. Then again, each of them has a link where you the voyeur can make a financial contribution. Voyeur is perhaps inappropriate as all we are looking at is something pixalated a video no different than the ones made by computer programers. It is not a real person, it is just pixels and sounds recorded. The person who was before the camera is not there at the time, neither is he in the computer. He is gone. That is my obloquy of pornography and X tube.

I wish Christianity would provide me with a panacea for all addictions. But it is not, rather it gives you a way to battle through them. And that is what I am doing, battling, click by click, word by word, prayer by prayer.

I do not belive that my watching of porn is nugatory or a pecadillo. It is serious, I am partaking in the comodification of the body! Though I am not paying, I am demanding that video. And too think that it was only on Sunday, a mere four days ago that I saw porn and I already want more!

Oh Lord Help me!

Postscriptum:
We have now entered a post-pornography age. The work of visual artist-cum-researcher (no pun intended, he does actual art, not to say porn is not art, but alright, let me stop here) speaks to how technology allows us to look and hear each other, for the sake of having a gay old time(that includes straight folks too).
Here is title to his article on the matter

Colonising antinormative sex: The flexibility of post-porn heterosex in random webcam sex